PsychoSocial

Psycho Social Living...

Denial

Denial is cause root to get out of our addiction. DENIAL (Don't Even kNow I'Am Lieing to myself). We addicts are in constant DENIAL as to our disease and our addictions. If we keep getting into DENIAL we will never get out of our addiction and constantly fall into the dangerous trap. Once we get out of DENIAL everything in our addiction will become clearer. And thus we must arrest our DENIAL and accept our defects and disease.

Three Stages Of Denial

Introduction
Recovery from chemical dependency has a number of predictable barriers that are common to most people who seek it. These barriers are part of a well developed, highly organized and very sophisticated alibi system more commonly called the denial system. Denial is defined two different ways by most experts in the substance abuse field. Discerning the differences between the two is paramount in working effectively with people in treatment. For illustration purposes lets call the two types of denial Type A and Type B. Type A denial is when a person sees, understands, and knows that they have a definite problem. When confronted about the problem they flat out deny it, knowing that it is true. This type of denial is outright dishonesty or lying. Type B denial is when a person is either partially or totally blind to a problem that they have. Through a hundred forms of self-deception, rationalization, justification and excuse making, a person can actually believe that they do not have a problem, when everyone around them sees this it is obvious. This type of denial comes from being honestly dishonest or by blindness. The type of denial we will deal with in this test is Type B, honestly being dishonest. I can remember years ago when I was confronted about my own drinking problem by loved ones, close friends, and my employer. I was destroyed, not at the thought of being an alcoholic, but by their accusations. My reaction was shock, denial and indignation. I would have passed a lie detector test if I were asked if there was a drinking problem in my life. I honestly believed that it wasn't true, and that I was being totally misunderstood. Obviously my denial was based on being honestly dishonest, not on being a liar. Some time later after I hit my bottom and entered recovery I remember asking myself, "How could I have been so blind?". This type of denial doesn't automatically disappear once the person sees and accepts being chemically dependent. It almost always emerges again with a new and more improved look, It's like Ivory Snow with the new packaging that say "New and Improved". It's really the same old soap with a new ingredient added to it so it can be marketed as a new and improved product. What we are dealing with is a whole denial system, not just denial of a particular problem. It is also important to understand that denial can be on both an intellectual and spiritual level. It is common to sec a person who intellectually accepts being alcoholic but doesn't believe it in his innermost sell. This is the person who constantly relapses, much to the amazement of themselves and everyone around them. Intellectual denial is usually based on lack of understanding, differences in semantics or in definition. A good example is the person who thinks an alcoholic is a degenerate who lives on skid row. He is always panhandling and drinks cheap wine. Anyone who still works, supports a family, pays the bills, and lives in a nice house couldn't possibly be an alcoholic. Here we have a clear problem in definition. A further example is the young executive who drives a BMW, lives in a nice condo and holds a good job with a nationally known electronics firm. He uses $200 worth of cocaine weekly and denies having a problem. He can't pay his bills; he loses his friends, and is always borrowing money. His definition of a drug addict is a person who sticks a needle in his arm every day. Spiritual denial is even more difficult to deal with because it is so hard to see. This level of denial will lock a person into compliance blocking any possibility for ongoing sobriety. The process of internalizing a new truth is more fully explained in the chapter of the three-headed dragon, head number three. One of the major goals in the treatment of chemical dependency is in help you through compliance (intellectually agreeing that the problem exists) to acceptance (coming to believe it in the heart). This dynamic is a process not an event. Even in the most ideal conditions it will sometimes take months before acceptance is fully rooted in the innermost self. This is why it is absolutely essential for attendance in at least 90 support meetings in the first 90 days after treatment is completed. This will add substantial insurance for the proper development of the precious new convictions cultivated in treatment. Denial, in relationship to treatment of chemical dependency, comes in three stages. Each stage has an intellectual and spiritual dimension.
Stage One Denial
Stage one denial is when a person truly does not believe that they have the disease of chemical addiction. They may accept being addicted to a particular drug(s), and still deny having the illness. They also could deny having a problem with drugs in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Another considers themselves to be a drug abuser but not chemically dependent. There are dozens of different ways to express this stage of denial all leading to the same place. The person does not accept the hid that they have an illness, which requires nothing short of total abstinence from all mind altering drugs, including alcohol, for its solution. Overcoming Stage One Denial Overcoming the wrong understanding of chemical dependency is accomplished through proper education. This will only produce intellectual acceptance at best, more commonly known as compliance. Internal acceptance of chemical dependency is a completely different issue. It requires a basic conversion in the belief system, which is in the innermost self (spirit). Internal acceptance is a process, not an event. One cannot come to believe something new in the innermost self by simply willing it to happen. That would be like planting a seed in the ground on Monday and expecting to have an apple tree on Friday. Once the seed has been planted, it needs time to root. It also needs proper nourishment for growth and maturity. This is the same way someone comes to accept being chemically dependent. The seed is planted in the innermost self of the person who admits that they have the problem by their own words. Once planted it is nourished by the continuation of the same process, admitting, (Step One of the AA program. . . We admitted . .). The more one admits to having the condition, the more one conies to believe it in their inner most self, This is expressed by the popular slogan, "You have to give it away to get, and you have to keep giving it away to keep it".
Stage Two Denial
Stage two denial is when a person denies the need for ongoing sobriety support after treatment is completed. It represents denial of being powerless. .lust because you agree to go to meetings after treatment is completed, does not mean that you will do it. It is important to understand that good intentions in treatment do not guarantee program action after discharge. Once out from under the influence of the peer group in treatment, sonic people will go their own way. They will never attend a single support meeting in their home community, unless they have a profound change in their inner perception of both the problem and its corresponding solution. This is sometimes called a spiritual awakening, or a moment of clarity. Good intentions are not enough. The absence of this inner perception keeps the person in the second stage of denial. This problem has to be corrected in the innermost self before arty long-term sobriety can be obtained. The real change takes place in the spirit (innermost self), not in the mind (understanding). This is why many people see the recovery process as spiritual not psychological. It takes place in the Heart not the Head. Overcoming Stage Two Denial Overcoming the second stage of denial requires the successful transference of dependency from self to a greater power outside of self for the maintaining of ongoing sobriety. lf you are depending on your own power to do this, you are in the second stage of denial, This is true regardless of how long you are sober. Many people have painfully discovered this, having relapsed after years of continuous sobriety. The persistence of this denial is astonishing in many who continue to attempt abstinence by themselves in spite of repeated failure. It seems that they are incapable of grasping (lie notion that they are NOT all powerful. This illusion of power is a major barrier to recovery from chemical dependency. Overcoming the second stage of denial requires the successful elimination of this illusion. This is not just an ordinary illusion. It has grown to an obsessional proportion just like the one that used to see alcohol or drugs as the answer to life's problems before it was smashed. The second stage of denial is easily broken by the transference of dependency from self to the sobriety support fellowship. When a person gets exposure to the 12-Step program for instance, they initially do it with a great deal of reluctance. What they usually find before too long is that something very powerful is happening to them. Externally, emotions are charged with positive energy. A feeling of belonging begins to replace the old feelings of guilt and worthlessness. Acceptance is now gradually replacing compliance. Remember, this is a process that is taking place in spite of early resistance, not an event that happens as a result of a decision. Miraculously as a result of exposure, an internal, unseen transference of dependency is taking place in the innermost self. This new found power seen as the fellowship is now taking the place of the illusion of power that used to dominate the person with so many empty promises. The internal development of Ibis transference of dependency from self in the support fellowship takes time. The internal development of this dynamic is called the second step experience by AA/NA members. It results in the "Coming to believe in a power greater than self".
Stage Three Denial
Stage three denial is the denial of the need to he willing to go to any length in the recovery process. It is an indicator that you have other priorities that are just as or more important than the maintenance of sobriety. The commitment to sobriety may be strong. However, the commitment to its maintenance is weak. This condition will usually escalate in one of two directions in time. One direction is to increase commitment and involvement when living problems intensify and the other direction is too eventually withdraw from the program completely, which usually leads to relapse. One does not stay in the third stage of denial for long. It always seems to go one way or the other. Another indicator of the third stage of denial is the rejection of the steps. Total abstinence from alcohol and drugs will produce sobriety. Practicing the living principles in the 12 Steps will produce recovery. Sobriety with no recovery will usually lead to relapse; it is only a matter of time. Overcoming Stage Three Denial The third .stage of denial is dismantled by the constant recommitment to active participation in the recovery support fellowship of your choice. Getting involved is the fastest way to overcome it with activities such as 12-Step meetings, sponsorship, being a secretary or chairperson, having a coffee commitment at a meeting, greeting newcomers, going on 12-Step calls. There are dozens of things one can do to establish a growing commitment to the Recovery Program. The more activity the more you are overcoming the third stage of denial. The less activity the more you are sinking back into the third stage of denial. Overcoming the third stage of denial completely is almost impossible. One should strive for progress in this area not perfection. The proper level of commitment to the program and the principles in it varies widely between different people. The important thing to understand is that each person needs to find his own healthy level of involvement based on his own particular needs.
Conclusion
Denial is tricky stuff. It has many faces and disguises. Its number one symptom is the denial OF its own existence. It keeps good people in everlasting blindness destroying any chance for healthy change. It will fight viciously for its survival all the way to insanity institutionalization and death. It is not threatened by you trying to beat it by yourself, in fact it welcomes it. The last thing it wants is for you to join with others who are dedicated to destroying it.

Twenty-four Hours A Day

AA thought of the day
One drink started a train of thought that became an obsession, we could not stop drinking. We developed a mental compulsion to keep drinking until we got good and drunk. People generally make two mistakes about alcoholism. One mistake is that they can be cured by physical treatment only. The other mistake is that it can be cured by willpower. Most alcoholics have tried both and found it didn't work.

Meditation for the day
I will try to be unruffled, no matter what happens. I will keep my emotions in check. Although others about me are letting theirs go. I'll keep calm in the face of disturbance, keep that deep, inner calm through all the experiences of the day. In the rush of work and worry, the deep, inner silence is necessary to keep me on an even knee. I must learn to take the calm, with me, into the most hurried days.

Prayer for the day
I pray...

Just For Today

Some day's just aren't the way we wish they would be. Our problems maybe simple. Either way we often avoiding our feelings. No one promises us that everything would go our way when we stop using or drinking. In fact we can be sure life will go on whether we using or not. We will face both painful and comfortable feelings. But we don't have to run away from them any longer.

We find that we don't have to use to get out of our problems. We can get through the emotions clean. We learn to trust that we can survive each day.

Just for today : I will demonstrate my trust in god by experiencing the day just as it is.

CAIM Treatment

While you are in the process of choosing a treatment program for your loved one or for yourself you must consider that at CAIM, Bangalore, we practice a comprehensive and holistic recovery program that covers the medical, physiological, Nutritional and social aspects of rehabilitation and recovery .Owing to this multifaceted approach CAIM records a high recovery rate of 70 percentile.

CAIM Recovery & Rehabilitation program includes :

•Medical Aspects of Treatment – Detoxification, Pain minimized withdrawal management and management of other psychiatric complications.
•Nutritional Aspects of Treatment – Deals with Neuro-nutritional loss, which is imperative to reduce drug/alcohol craving and finally deliver recovery .
•Psychological Aspects of Treatment - Dealing with the games the /Alcoholics Addicts play like 'Divide and Rule', 'De focusing', "Blame Gaming,' Tunnel Vision" etc these are personality disorders that require a shift in their aberrant belief system and their priorities which were till now focused on instant gratification from the alcohol/drug . This allows the adoption of a value belief system.
•Social Aspects of Treatment – Caim helps the Alcoholic/Addict to re integrate with the social fabric of his life by dealing with the shame and guilt of his/her wasted years & Low self esteem.

Please contact us for further details. At all times evaluate treatment from the point maximum recovery rate and well being of the addict and the entire family whom this affects.

As bill see's it

"it has often been said of A.A that we are interested only in alcoholism.That is not true .We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive.But anyone who knows that no true alky ever stops drinking permanently without undergoing a profound change"

WE thought "conditions" drove us to drink ,and when we tried to correct these conditions and found out that we could not do so to our entire satasfaction,our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics.It never occured to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.

Twenty-four hours a day

A.A thought for the day
Ifs alcoholims were just a physical allergy,like astama or hay fever,it would be easier for us,by taking a skin test with alcohol, to find out whether we are alcoholics .But alcoholism is not just a physicall allergy but also a mental allegy or obsession.After we become alcoholics,we start to tolerate alcohol physically for quite some time .Do i realise that since i have become an alcoholic ,I cannot tolerate alcohol mentally at all?

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that i may be an instrument of the divine power .I pray that i may do my share in remaking the world.

Just For Today

"The last thing we expected was an awakening of the spirit." Basic Text, p48

Few of us came to our first Narcotics Anonymous meeting aching to take a personal inventory or believing that a spiritual void existed in our souls. We had no inkling that we were about to embark on a journey which would awaken our sleeping spirits.

Like a loud alarm clock, the First Step brings us to semiconsciousness-although at this point, we may not be sure whether we want to climb out of bed or maybe sleep for just we apply the Second and Third Steps causes us to stand up, stretch, and yawn. We need to wipe the sleep from our eyes to write the Fourth Step and share our Fifth. But as we work the Sixth, Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Steps, we begin noticing spirits sing in the shower as we take the Tenth and Eleventh Steps. And then we practice the Twelfth, leaving the house in search of others to awaken.

We don't have to spend the rest of our lives in a spiritual coma. We may not like to get up in the morning but, once out of bed, we're almost always glad we did.

Just for today: To awaken my sleepy spirit, I will use the Twelve Steps.

We found it worked

Attitude determines the lifestyle of a person and it develops when perception is followed by projection. Positive and negative attitudes are aquired by an individual over a period of time and according to their development human beings fall into three categories:their are those two who imagine and project difficulties in any undertaking even before they start work and end up doing nothing. they are like the car which will not start unless given a push. The second kind are called Prarambh Shura. they are inspired initially, but give up for lack of preseverance. The third are those who become more inspired to execute a job,the more they face challenges and difficulties.
Even if you are successful,negativity in attitude can crop up at any time for unknown reasons.Remember,1, You alone are responsible for your attitude.2. As is your attitude, so are your perceptions, 3. As is your perception, so is your interaction with the world.4. As is the interaction, so is the experience of life and, 5. As is the experience,so is the quality of life.
During camps for children,I often hear this complaint; "Swamiji, before and after an examination, I remember everything but during the examination,I forget things".This happens only because of the attitude problem.People who have negative attitude think and project only negative things and they develop it to such an extent that even a positive thinking person can become a victim of their presence. Such negative people can do nothing and they don't allow anybody else to do anything.
Negative attitude are the result of a weak personality at the physical, emotional and intellectual level. Physical strength can be gained by proper
intake of food,and regular exercise.Some are obsessed with their figure.They torture their bodies. They get cranky and misunderstand anything their parents say.This is a negative attitude,the reason being that when you don't eat properly you think about food. When you do this ,the food has gone to your head. Good health helps us to come out of negativity.
Emotional stamina too is a must. Emotional strength is gained by discovering some altar in life -it could be God, your guru,an idea;surrender yourself at that altar with total involvement and faith. Put logic away because by logic,no problems are solved. By love alone all problem get disolved.
When we apply our faculty of intellect and enquiry in doing a job successfully, it is vital to get things done not "because of all odds' but ' despite all odds' Enquiry into ' how a thing is posible'. One must also remember that life is not about being successfull, it is also the ability to go through both success and failure with grace,In success, we enjoy and from failure we learn.
When we have mastered the art of learning from failures,it leads to success ultimately.This attitude towards failure is a positive one. When these three aspects of your personality are cultivated and developed systematically, you grow and develop Atma balam or inner strength. With inner strength, postivity becomes the foundation of our expression. The Mundaka Upanishad says that the Truth is not revealed to cowards. Success is not for weaklings. When you have physical strength, emotional beauty and intellectual capacity, your attitude becomes positive. With this positive attitude,you jump into the battle of life, and success is bound to happen.


website :justbehappy.org

Daily insights into recovery

Motivation for me came after treatment not before . Because motivation for the things that keep you sober like tolerance , patientce did not even occur to me while i was using or drinking.At that time it was just a over powering desire for abstanance . So i wonder why all the doctors,councellors and social workers i met before coming to treatment insist on motivation.Acutally the type of motivation that comes to than the motivation that comes to stop using or drinking.My drug crazed mind was hell bent on the will power trip which made the tension in me more ,icould not sllep,talk , i was so angry .But after coming into treatment the type of motivation was to learn tolerance,stay calm , not get ruffeld, to talk the truth .Nothing to do with the taking or stoping to take drugs or anything else to do with will power.This made me calm and therefore i could sleep,talk and be myself.

Higher Power

The third steps tells us that a power greater than us could help us be restored to our sanity . We feel that the higher power is the only way out of our deep addictions , thats why with total surrender can we attain soberity .We feel it is a key step in our road to recovery.Giving our selves to the HP will make the steps more simpler and easier .

Daily Reflection

Today is Valentine's day, woke up to find no running water, couldn't take a bath or shower. Kind of sucks being trapped in a country I don't really relate to. Wish I was back in a developed country where resouces are more available and access to proper utilities and hot water. But recovery says that we have got to do things we dont like , so I must deal with the situation I'm in and make the most of it. Besides all this being clean and in recovery is great and hope to see my family soon. I know my life will be good by staying in recovery and keeping clean and sober. Hope all that read this today have a great Valentine's day with some loved ones.

Honesty is best policy

Honesty is the key to our recovery . When we do any thing in recovery we got to be completely honest as the saying goes 'honesty is best policy'.
Only when we take a honest inventory of our selves can we get to the bottom of our problems.Honesty will help us in the road to recovery . And not to forget we have to be honest with our selves to live a sober life.

three monkeys

KEEP IT SIMPLE !!!!!!!!

SERENITY

Serenity is something which has to be experienced not talked about . how do you experience it now ? By practicing the steps at all times , from dawn to dusk with honesty , openmindness and willingness . To do all actions humbly under his grace .Serenity is a process of self-realisation and contentment .

just for today

"as long as the ties that bind us togeather are stronger than those that would tear us apart , all will be well "

Many of us feel that without NA we would surely have died from our disease . We must learn to to respond in a constructive way to the destructive infulences that sometimes arise in our fellowship .
Our personal recovery and growth is contingent upon an atmosphere of recovery in our meetings . We seek to work out our difficulties and to promote common welfare in with our members .
If we bear in mind the strength of the ties that bind us togeather our recovery from active addictin will be well .

Just For Today

Active addiction was never a good time . It kept us locked in bitterness and resentment . Cant deny us the suffering it bought us . We would not wish the disease of addiction to anyone but the fact is that we remain addicts with the disease and without its acceptance we could have never embarked on our spiritual journey .We get in NA what thousands search outside , a sence of purpose , fellowship and contact with the higher power.