CAIM Treatment & Rehabilitation

CAIM Treatment & Rehabilitation
www.caimindia.org

Saturday, February 24, 2007

emotions

Our pro gramme teaches us that we do not have control over our emotions .Our emotions keep going in the odd directions.Our mind thinks of something and then our emotions come in and make all our thoughts go haywire.Then this leads us to get frustrated,angry,guilty.

Just for Today

"Personality change was what we really needed. Change from self-destructive patterns of life became necessary." Basic Text, p.15

This statement is really applicable in my life, since my life had been on the wrong path and required a change. I've had many bad associations in my life in the past and this time of reflexion helps me understand why I did certain things in the past. I just hope I can amend certain relationships from the past with those who cared and had "my" best interest at heart. I would like to focus my life back on the right path and establish myself in life being able to be an independent person who will become successful so I can show my family and friends once and for all that I am a capable human being.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Just For Today

"Though our inability to accept personal responsibilities, we were actually creating our own problems." Basic Text, p.13

When we refuse to take responsibility for our lives, we give away all of our personal power. We need to remember that we are powerless over our addiction, not our personal behavior.
Many of us have misused the concept of powerlessness to avoid making decisions or to hold onto things we had outgrown. We have blamed others for our circumstances rather than taking positive action to change those circumstances. If we continue to avoid responsibility by claiming that we
are "powerless", we set ourselves up for the same despair and misery we experienced in our active addiction.The potential for spending our recovery years feeling like victims is very real .
Instead of living our lives by default, we can learn how to make responsible choices and take
risk. We may make mistakes,but we can learn from these mistakes. A heightened awareness of ourselves and an increased willingness to accept personal responsibility gives us the freedom to change, to make choices, and to grow.

Just for today: My feelings, actions, and choices are mine I will accept responsibility for them.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Just For Today

"Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program." Basic Text, pg 76.

Today's quote is very applicable to my life today, since I had a relapse and had reservations in my program. I was only doing the program for my family's sake not taking into account my own life. I was only trying to please people around me and didn't think about my own happiness. I now believe that the program must be done for me and not for anyone else. I now understand this, only came to light for me in the past 24hrs or so. Only thought rigorous counselling and speaking to those who have lived a longer life of recovery have I been able to make a decision to take the program for "ME" and not for anyone else. I hope to now apply what I have learned in the past 19months of treatment, to application of real life. Hope my higher power is on my side and will assist me in living a happy life of recovery. I forsee my future in my dreams it's now time to live it in reality and not live a fantasy life.

Art of Living

Today we have the opportunity to take the art of living course here in the treatment center. This is a great chance for us to learn how to control our emotions and learn proper meditation and breathing techniques. I am very excited at this chance since I have been told by loved ones to take the course. I have been a volunteer at the 25th year celebrations at Jakku AirField, but did not attend the course personally. I have great problems with dealing with my emotions on a daily basis. Since being off chemical addictions I have been on a roller coaster of emotions from Anger to Depression, to slight moments of happiness. I hope leaning the techniques thought by Guru Gi's instructors will benefit me in my life. I hope to live a life more stable than before, since my life has been a crazy movie until now. Hopefully through the help of my higher power I can stabilize my life and fulfill my dreams of a bright future.

Yesterday I had a meeting with my guardian/sponsor and the head of the treatment center where I was grilled about my recovery and where my life is headed. I was very stout on not changing, but now I realize that people here are trying to direct me in a positive way of life, VS my old habits of self destructive nature of living which I had in the past. I had a good conversation with my father the other day, after a very long time. This was probably the most I would have spoken to my dad in 20+yrs. But I still have great emotions when speaking to my family since I have never really spoken to them when I had lived with them, was always abusing some chemical or the other. I just hope they can see my dreams and understand where I wish to be in life. I understand in my life that everything happens for a reason, just that I can't see this at times when my mind is clouded. But I can see there are people who have been brought into my life here in India who "care". Not like the users I had as so called friends/associates in the past. I just hope to be back into society soon, my plan is to settle in Japan, yet my family doesn't agree. I feel my life should be back under my control soon, where I am able to make my own decisions without my family cribbing.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Just for today

"as long as i take it easy and make a commitment with my higher power to do the best i can , i know i will be taken care of today"

Many of us feel that our fundamental commitment in recovery is to our Higher Power.Knowing that we can't stay clean and find recovery on our own.We make a commitment to live in the care of the higher power and in return , our Higher Power guides us.
This partnership is vital to staying clean .Our part in this partnership is to do the best we can each day . We promise to do the best we can-not to fake it.In fulfilling our part of the recovery partnership ,we experience the Higher Power has provided us.

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